Updated: Sep 12, 2021
When I was 19 I became a channel. I would go to bed each night and almost violently detect a snake-like electrical energy jolting me from the base of my spine through my crown. It would come on especially when I was falling asleep. ZAP! And I would jump to my feet trying to shake it off. There was a very long period where truly believed I was being possessed after that. The only thing more uncomfortable than that sensation was the fear. To wake up every single night in terror of something aggressively violating my body and my mind took a deep toll on my mental health.
What I realized later on was this was Spirit trying to prepare my body for what was to come. Prepare my body for my mission.
This process took many arduous years. I have never met another person who went through what I did. I still am working through a lot the trauma from that time to this day.
It’s not only about being pried open. It is being alone while it is happening. It is going to class every morning in college and my classmates and professors not knowing I was at war last night.
Because I lived in a college apartment at the time, there were many spirits there, as well. Many who taunted me. College is a strange time when we are all figuring ourselves out. As a result there are a lot of lingering energies, poltergeist, and restless soul’s looking for peace, or to connect, or to taunt. Me being wide open and fearful was a perfect match for them. This escalated my anxiety.
There are so many more elements to this story to share. I find it difficult to. Because it was so many things for so long. Such a lonely time for me, as well. But mostly lonely because the things I experienced during that time are so challenging to explain to other people. Have you every gone through something incredibly traumatic but couldn’t tell anyone about it? Silence and shame are the real killers I’ve learned.
When I was much younger I was pretty hyper-active. I couldn’t sit still. I would take a bite of dinner and do lap around my house then back for the second bite. I was disciplined for this quite a bit for it as any other child would.
I later learned that this was me acclimatizing to the rapid flow of my energy. My energy accelerates very fast. My restlessness as a kid was because of my higher connection with the very high frequency energy of the Divine. I was connecting to angels. The divine is a very high frequency energy that has this excitable, almost dancing quality to the energy. In human beings it just translates to high states of joy and bliss. I was tapping into that realm unknowingly as a kid. In particular, tapping into a spirit guide who would take on a more involved role with me later in life.
I was a very outgoing kid. Talked a lot, made friends with most kids my age. I was very artistic and high energy. I was also very eccentric and artistically driven. No one in my family was like me. I was just like a pin ball bouncing around everywhere but for the most part people celebrated that until I got older. (When shining your light becomes more of the target of peoples projections onto you. When your very light is a reminder of others lack of light, they will try to diminish your light and take your power in order for them to see their own light in the shadow of yours. A textbook ego defense mechanism.)
There was a point that the outside world convinced me to monitor, control, and diminish that pure expression of
light I had for others convenience. Because I quickly learned life is about fitting in, not being yourself.
And it wasn’t until college where I had the freedom to be myself, that the Great Spirit knew I was more in position to carry out the purpose he wanted to pursue with me.
I am grateful that after all these years it all seems to be coming together now. All of these strange and extreme, misplaced experiences, sci-fi horror movie encounters, and emotionally challenging life themes growing up are finally making sense.
That high energy from childhood is now a Spirit Guide I connect to that gives me clear answers and guidance in my personal life, as well as others lives. But mostly that energy was my higher spirit trying to communicate my eccentric skills and personality through my high energy physical movement and speech. When in alignment with this energy I am very outgoing, very intuitive, very artistic, with heightened skills in most areas. When out of alignment from the flow of that energy it translates to high anxiety. It is interesting to make that correlation between high energy and high anxiety. It is all determined based on your alignment with that steam of energy whether you are experiencing anxiety or elation.
In addition, the electrical current the burned me inside as much as that fear burned into my memory is now a channel that I can use to leave my body and travel with my consciousness. As well as enter trance states of being in channeling and accessing parts of this universe you wouldn’t imagine.
It takes a very difficult and unique past to embody the Cody I am today. And one day maybe I will be able to accurately articulate my life story. Because I’ve written all of this and still feel as though no one will quite ever understand what that was like for me. What I go through on a daily basis. I look forward for the day I feel safe enough to invite someone else into my inner world like that. Where they really do have an understanding of all of this. Not just open about spirits and energies, but open to the very bizarre and unique ways it happened to me. We are here in this virtual community where what I talk about is celebrated. Yet my personal experiences are just so different from everyone else’s. My intention is to invite people into that intimate space now. Because I do feel strong enough to take those steps now that I am older and more integrated in my being.
Ultimately this is about accepting that everyone’s story is completely unique to them. That I am not excluded from this. Even if mine is particularly different. We all just want to know that we are not alone in life. You’d be amazed to know what a human being is capable of doing and accomplishing when they have someone with them. Someone in that intimate space of fear with you telling you you don’t have to feel this feeling alone.
In order to express my gratitude today for realizing how full circle I have come, I had to explain the circumstances they got me here. I had to write it out for myself because it even feels miraculous to me. On one hand I never would’ve expected my life would be so different. But at the same time I always knew that I wouldn’t live a normal life. That there was something different for me. But that it wasn’t bad. It was actually incredibly beautiful beyond my wildest dreams and imagination. I slowly see that coming into focus now.