Spiritual Peer Pressure: The Hidden Ego in “Conscious” Spaces

What really is authentic? What really is unconventional in an unconventional space? What is actually a bold statement in the emotional/spiritual awakening community? What’s not being talked about? So many things.

I think sometimes we pride ourselves on being unconventional, but really we are conforming to the regulations of what is accepted in our own communities. When unconsciousness and ego can find their way into any space—even one that calls itself “spiritual.” In fact, that’s where ego hides best.

Where there are norms, there are taboos. And where there is “taboo,” there is SHAME. One taboo in the spiritual community is pharmaceutical medication. Which means we also breed a space where people are ashamed to disclose—even to close friends or loved ones—that they use medications, for fear of ridicule, shame, or ostracization. Shame is a parasite, and it will eat you alive until you are no more—death from the inside out. The most lethal, fatal, silent killer known to our species.

While I am not on pharmaceuticals myself, I’ve been reflecting on my journey of awakening around my resistance to medication. For about 15 years, I was completely against pharmaceuticals. I thought I was being conscious; I thought I was protecting myself. But the more I walked my path—and especially the more I worked with clients—I started realizing that while that is a righteous thought, the reality is that for most people in crisis, healing is about the path of least resistance. And if I truly believe in the Law of Attraction, I know the universe will provide each of us with the path of least resistance—which, for some people, is medication. For others, it may be naturopathic remedies. I know that if we have the ability to work consciously with the laws of the universe, these “rules” cannot be written in stone. We write those stones. We cultivate our relationship to the things that influence us the most—positively or negatively. 

And perception is reality. Therefore, mathematically, medication cannot be inherently bad. There is shadow in that generalization. It depends on the person, the situation, the history, belief systems, and so much more. We don’t have the right to judge or comment until we fully hear that person’s story.

We do far more harm by shaming people for using tools that may or may not support their wellness than by letting them find what works. I can’t imagine the shame someone carries if they’re in a life-threatening situation and don’t believe in something that could actually help them in that moment. I called this Spiritual Peer-Pressure. It’s high school all over again except the cool kids are the all-organic vegan kids. — (and coming from someone who is plant-based now for 10 years this August!)

I had to face it: my ego was involved. I judged people who used medication—even when it worked for them, even when it gave them access to a better, more functional life. That judgment was resistance in me, not in them. I “drank the New Age Kool-Aid” so to speak. And I fell into the trap of repeating the same themes we criticize mainstream Society for doing just through the context of New Age spiritual themes.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I still strongly believe medication is often overused, handed out as a Band-Aid, particularly by doctors following procedure or too lazy to dig deeper. Most of us live in a society that addresses health concerns allopathically. Allopathic medicine treats symptoms but doesn’t address root causes. Homeopathic medicine addresses that root, but even then, it isn’t the real root unless you understand what comes before it: emotion. Your emotions and resistance dictate the flow of Source energy through your chakras, through your meridians channels, and to your organs and body parts. If that energy flow is blocked, you will experience a corresponding physical ailment. This is what I explore in my second book, which I hope will come out when the timing is right—it’s all about healing the mind-body connection.

At the end of the day, your body belongs to you. The choices you make for your body are yours and sacred. I share this because I know there are so many who, like me, vehemently resisted medication. But there will come a time when we’ll be grateful for what medicine has brought to our world.

Almost six years ago to this exact day, I was hospitalized for ten days with a mysterious infection that wouldn’t let me keep food down. I felt stripped of autonomy. My voice didn’t matter. My identity didn’t matter. Doctors and nurses gaslit me—sometimes outright refused to believe me. It blew my mind and opened my eyes to the epidemic of Medical Gaslighting.

I learned the value of speaking up—not only speaking, but speaking loud. Yelling even. Making people listen when you have something important to say. What blew my mind, especially being a New Yorker, was how being soft-spoken, demure, and unassuming gave people permission to take advantage of me. You think you want to be respectful to the people who serve you, but the moment they realize you’re not going to boss them around, they stop taking you seriously. They don’t listen to your requests, and sometimes they don’t even perform their job properly. Meanwhile, the bombastic guy at the next table gets everything handled because he’s intimidating enough to make them deliver their absolute best.

I had to learn to get mad, get loud, and make them listen—without seeing myself as a bad person for it. I learned to demand respect in spaces where it is lacking and to TAKE UP SPACE, because I (and YOU) deserve it, inherently. I found a loophole: getting mad didn’t have to involve my ego. It could simply be a conscious reflex to maintain boundaries.

I was a chronic people pleaser my whole life, so my biggest lesson became not taking shit from anyone. I’m aware now when people mistake my kindness for weakness, and I’m not ashamed or afraid to speak up and call it out now.

I took my autonomy back in that hospital. It sounds crazy, but I literally told my parents—the only ones visiting me—not to come visit me anymore. Something inside me knew the reason I was in that hospital with this infection that wouldn’t let me hold food down was because my solar plexus had nearly stopped flowing. I had let my families voice become my inner voice. And I had lost who I was inside to a chronic and clinical degree. I had lost my autonomy, my identity, my voice. That’s why I was throwing up—my throat chakra shutting down.

There are times in life when you have to do what you have to do to be happy and healthy. I remember being put on medication that made me feel worse and completely killed my appetite. It was awful. So many of us have been failed by allopathic healthcare, and I carry so much empathy for all of us.

I also have empathy for people—friends, clients, anyone—shamed by society that makes them feel being overweight is their fault, as if obesity isn’t recognized as a medical disease. All I see online is people shaming others for taking GLP-1s (Ozempic, Mounjaro, etc.), when we don’t know their bodies, their history, their story, or the weight of that decision.

Empathy is the operative word. We need to invite more empathy when we see people making choices we don’t understand or agree with. That has been my biggest lesson in my twenties, and this post is part of my effort to atone for the years I judged others for needing or simply just choosing pharmaceuticals.

Obesity is now a medical disease—like alcoholism eventually was. Alcoholics were once seen as weak, lacking self-control. Now we understand alcoholism as a disease, with physiological factors like dopamine dysregulation and GABA alterations that make abstaining impossible for some. Cravings are physiological, not a matter of choice—just like babies born addicted because of their mother’s use.

We don’t shame people for taking high blood pressure meds or insulin. Yet we shame obese people for taking medication to manage a medical disease.

It’s interesting how the word “unconventional” gets used in conscious spiritual spaces. To me, what’s considered conventional here in new age communities is veganism, all-natural, all-organic, kindness, love. And I guess I’m a bit of a firestarter—that’s the indigo in me (shoutout to the indigos). Sometimes I look at a system and think, “Why is everyone just accepting this? If the opposite is being resisted so strongly, maybe that’s exactly where something important is hiding.” Because if there’s one thing I know, it’s that the root of suffering is RESISTANCE. I cannot see resistance and call it conscious.

So yes, I’m unconventional in this conscious community. No, I’m not going to shame you for taking medication. Do I think medication is overprescribed? Absolutely—and that’s serious. But I’m not going to shame you for eating meat either. I’m here to encourage you to live your life, follow the path of least resistance, be bold, and refuse to let others make decisions for you. Think for yourself. Live freely. That is the privilege of being alive today.

I love you all. LIVE YOUR LIFE. 🫶🏽💃🏼 With Love, Cody ~